It’s 6pm on Saturday. I only had internet access for a bit…so I sent a few “don’t worry, I’m fine e-mails” and updated my facebook status (the US Embassy even recommended we do that so that those who are worried know how we’re doing). But now I’m just writing and when the internet/power is back up I’ll post this blog.
Here’s the story: It was around 3am. I had gone to bed at 1:30am because I was skyping with my parents and brother. So I think I was just getting into my deep sleep phase. I remember feeling the shaking…and for those in the Midwest who don’t know what an Earthquake feels like…it’s like the land is having a seizure, everything is moving back and forth. You know those dreams when you feel like you’re falling and then you wake up right before you hit the ground? That’s what it all felt like—except that dream over and over again. The door was opening and closing, I could see the light peering into my eyes. But I wasn’t sure what to do. I don’t remember feeling anything other than that—out of control, powerless. I felt like I was drunk and when I saw Alejandra, my host mom, swing open the door and tell me to come with her, the only thing I could think of was to follow her (looking back on that moment, it’s incredible how when put in certain circumstances, Spanish, at that time, came so easy to me). What a wonderful women she was! She held me as the apartment building shook. And shook. And shook. It seemed 10 minutes long (later I found out it was 3 minutes). I felt like I was on a ship, hitting the really rough part of the night, when the waves are crashing on either side of the boat and all you feel like you can do is wait. It was late into the night and none of the lights were on, so I couldn’t tell what was falling or breaking.
When it stopped, Alejandra continued to wrap her arms around me. She said very slowly, “tranquila, tranquila…” (calm, clam). I didn’t feel nervous or scared when it was happening , but when it stopped…my whole body was shaking. My heart was racing fast and I was breathing quickly. I took a number of deep, slow breaths over and over again. I remember looking at Alejandra when it was done and feeling very reassured that everything would be fine. There were are few shock waves that followed. But they were short.
I was exhausted and all I wanted to do was to crawl back into my bed and fall back asleep. Alejandra and Pablo walked around the apartment a bit. I went to my room and just sat on my bed for a few minutes. I had heard that turbulences were normal in Chile—and they would happen when I was on my trip. I thought this was just one of those turbulences (come to learn that it was far from the “normal” or “expected” shaking). I got up and looked out my window…most of Santiago was dark. The power gone. There was something eerie about seeing a major city without the building lit up.
Pablo finds his phone and uses the light from it to see what the apartment looks like—initially it looked like a tornado had swept through the kitchen, bedroom, and living room. Wet patches covered the ground where the fish bowl was . Glass broken all over the floor. Bookshelves without any books.
Alejandra explains to me that she hasn’t felt something like since the 1986 earthquake. Rumor has it…Pinochet ordered it. And then we meet her neighbor and all walk downstairs to be outside. We stay out for about 30 minutes. Many neighbors are talking about the damage they’ve experienced in their homes and who they are waiting to get a hold of. I feel comforted by all of the neighbors who sarcastically say, “Bienvenidos a Chile!” (Welcome to Chile!) and want to make sure that I’m okay…especially as a first-time earthquake survivor.
I didn’t think this would be so long…(writing all of this out)…
Eventually we go back up to the apartment and clean up the pieces of glass on the ground. 20 minutes later, I’m lying in bed wondering, “what just happened.” I continued to feel the after-shocks all through the night, eventually falling asleep at 5:30am. At certain points I began to think I was feeling something shake…when really all was calm (not cellular phantom vibrations, instead this was phantom after-shocks).
I woke up at around 10:30am and spent the day finding out more information. Throughout the day there were frequent after-shocks. It felt scarier this time, experiencing them. Maybe it was because I was more awake, understood the gravity of the situation more…whatever it was…it was more nerve raking to feel the apartment shake and have no control over it or nowhere to go where I wouldn’t feel it. The staff of SIT visited each student’s house to make sure we were okay. Luckily for all of us (partially a miracle or something) there were no major problems (broken glasses, etc.).
In the early afternoon after a number of friends’ of Alejandra and Pablo’s visited the house to make sure all was well, Pablo and I went for a walk to get some groceries. It was ironic to see the big stores/pharmacies closed and the small fruit and vegetables stands open. I kind of had expected it to be the other way. Initially I couldn’t see much damage. I’d point to a crack in the ground and Pablo would laugh and tell me that that’s just how the sidewalk is. Eventually I saw tons of damage, entire windows split in half or knocked out. A whole store front crumbled to pieces. Huge cracks up the side of large houses. And with that—the city was still moving. The bus system was working, just slower than usual. People were doing out to eat at the Chinese and Peruvian restaurants we passed. Taxis were running. People were walking around.
I kept getting mixed messages---on one hand, it was a horrible earthquake that lead to tsunamis and on the other hand, the damage I saw was few and far between and the city was working (all be it without power, except for the generators running).
We cleaned the apartment, ate, played uno (I’ve always wanted to play uno in a Spanish-speaking country)…and as more news came in about the deaths, the comparison to Haiti’s recent earthquake, how Bachelet (Chile’s current president) is not stepping turning over the Presidency to Pinera at the beginning of March so that she is able to deal with this crisis fully, the tsunamis that were starting, Hilary Clinton’s visit soon, the pictures of antique buildings in Santiago in pieces...and as I saw Alejandra cry as she learned more and more about her country and the people dead and hurt…I began to feel what I tend to feel when I hear about different travesties. ..pure sadness for the lives gone and the damage created.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Education del corazon
A few days ago the staff of SIT took us all out to a "welcome" dinner. I order a salad--which turned out to be a months serving of vegetables---an entire avocado sliced, an entire carrot shredded, a few vegetables I wasn't familiar with...it could have been an appetizer for a group of 5.
Anyway...I got to sit next to Roberto and Rossana, staff members of SIT, and talk to them. I asked them all the questions (well, some of) that I had been curious about since I arrived. I had heard on the airplane that people don't like talking about Pinochet and I should wait for them to bring it up to talk about. That's definitely not the case with my host family or the staff. Rossana shared her stories of hearing pots and pans in the streets to protest Pinochet and her mom, quickly closing the blinds and telling us (her and her siblings) to go to sleep. Roberto, who is older, remembers protesting and witnessing numerous acts of violence, including a number of murders.
Other topics of conversation included:
-The U.S. Social Forum: Roberto got very excited.
-Some differences between Chile and Argentina's education system: 49% of Chile's schools are private (it's one of largest number of private schools...larger than U.S., Europe, and other schools in Latin America). He describe Argentina's schools with a greater emphasis on art, music, and media. I used the term "la education del corazon" (thanks dad and Grace) and his eyes lit up. It was a phrase he liked a lot.
-How Pinera (the President-elect of Chile) got elected
-Obama. Rossana seemed more okay with him than did Roberto. Roberto said that a black president, a women president, a particular identity of a president doesn't change the world. A social movement does.
All in all, the courses and people I am going to be exposed to throughout this program is going to be incredible.
Anyway...I got to sit next to Roberto and Rossana, staff members of SIT, and talk to them. I asked them all the questions (well, some of) that I had been curious about since I arrived. I had heard on the airplane that people don't like talking about Pinochet and I should wait for them to bring it up to talk about. That's definitely not the case with my host family or the staff. Rossana shared her stories of hearing pots and pans in the streets to protest Pinochet and her mom, quickly closing the blinds and telling us (her and her siblings) to go to sleep. Roberto, who is older, remembers protesting and witnessing numerous acts of violence, including a number of murders.
Other topics of conversation included:
-The U.S. Social Forum: Roberto got very excited.
-Some differences between Chile and Argentina's education system: 49% of Chile's schools are private (it's one of largest number of private schools...larger than U.S., Europe, and other schools in Latin America). He describe Argentina's schools with a greater emphasis on art, music, and media. I used the term "la education del corazon" (thanks dad and Grace) and his eyes lit up. It was a phrase he liked a lot.
-How Pinera (the President-elect of Chile) got elected
-Obama. Rossana seemed more okay with him than did Roberto. Roberto said that a black president, a women president, a particular identity of a president doesn't change the world. A social movement does.
All in all, the courses and people I am going to be exposed to throughout this program is going to be incredible.
Can you say that again? One more time? I'm sorry...
I'm sitting in my room at my homestay's house in Santiago. There are two large panoramic windows...right now it's cloudy--a murky gray, there's tons of pollution. The pollution is amplified because the city of Santiago is located in a ditch, surrounded by mountains on either side. From my house I can see the tallest building in Santiago (although Pablo, my host family dad, said, "I know it's nothing like NY.") and downtown Santiago. The house is located on the fourth floor (top floor) of the apartment complex. Tons of apartments surround Ñuñoa (one of the many communities within Santiago and the one I am currently in). It's so different from the single-family homes I am used to seeing in Huntington Woods and in South Hadley. Although, I know it's more of the norm in cities across the U.S...it still seems new to see.
It's so easy to feel lost when my host parents, Pablo and Alejandra, are speaking. I listen for phrases, words I know and sometimes, make-up, what I think they're saying. Or I ask them to say "una vez mas" or "repete"or "que"(one more time, repeat, what). They're really good at being animated...especially Pablo who uses large hand gestures and often vivid visual descriptions (for example, faking choking himself aggressively to symbolize choking). Pablo also enjoys snapping his fingers to describe certain things...which often confuses me because he uses the same gesture to describe multiple things. Alejandra and Pablo have been married for a year; this is Pablo's second marriage; he has two kids who he doesn't see/talk to much.
Pablo is a student, studying to teach others about biodanza, (from what I understand...they've explained this concept to me many, many times. biodanza...originated in Chile and has now spread to other Latin American countries, parts of Europe, and Japan. It's a newer idea that involves disciplines like psychology, anthropology, arts...it's a process of healing, group therapy, and dancing. In a group, that doesn't know each other to well, someone guides someone who closes their eyes. The music guides the couple and eventually heals the person who isn't doing well (emotionally or physically). Break up the words Bio and danza...it means Bio and dance...something like that. Alejandra is a religious teacher at a semi-private (like a charter school) school. Neither of them are religious, but Alejandra teaches religion because she believes that religion is a human right.
They don't have Wi-fi in their house...but it's easier to borrow some wi-fi from a neighbor who doesn't have a password.
Last night, I was feeling the "hope this all goes by fast." The Spanish was overwhelming me and I was constantly frustrated because I couldn't say what I wanted to say. I have to simplify my thoughts...so that they come out in a way that makes sense to Pablo and Alejandra. I was extremely exhausted from listening so hard to them speak. And then, after I got up and had sometime to read e-mails, go on facebook...basically indulge into things that connected me to people and places I knew well, I let go of my frustration (a bit). Alejandra went off to work and Pablo and I took a long walk around the neighborhood. It was nice to be outside--the sun shining brightly, warming my body...and I slowed everything down. I decided to laugh more, say, "si, si" less often (and ask more when I didn't understand). I saw a bit of "Emma" come out. It was really nice.
So much of this experience is going to be about 1) being okay not always knowing what's happening 2) feeling really okay trying again and again 3) learning to say what I want to and ask them if they understand me, and then if not, I can try again 4)taking more deep breaths 5) and not getting frustrated with myself for getting frustrated.
It's so easy to feel lost when my host parents, Pablo and Alejandra, are speaking. I listen for phrases, words I know and sometimes, make-up, what I think they're saying. Or I ask them to say "una vez mas" or "repete"or "que"(one more time, repeat, what). They're really good at being animated...especially Pablo who uses large hand gestures and often vivid visual descriptions (for example, faking choking himself aggressively to symbolize choking). Pablo also enjoys snapping his fingers to describe certain things...which often confuses me because he uses the same gesture to describe multiple things. Alejandra and Pablo have been married for a year; this is Pablo's second marriage; he has two kids who he doesn't see/talk to much.
Pablo is a student, studying to teach others about biodanza, (from what I understand...they've explained this concept to me many, many times. biodanza...originated in Chile and has now spread to other Latin American countries, parts of Europe, and Japan. It's a newer idea that involves disciplines like psychology, anthropology, arts...it's a process of healing, group therapy, and dancing. In a group, that doesn't know each other to well, someone guides someone who closes their eyes. The music guides the couple and eventually heals the person who isn't doing well (emotionally or physically). Break up the words Bio and danza...it means Bio and dance...something like that. Alejandra is a religious teacher at a semi-private (like a charter school) school. Neither of them are religious, but Alejandra teaches religion because she believes that religion is a human right.
They don't have Wi-fi in their house...but it's easier to borrow some wi-fi from a neighbor who doesn't have a password.
Last night, I was feeling the "hope this all goes by fast." The Spanish was overwhelming me and I was constantly frustrated because I couldn't say what I wanted to say. I have to simplify my thoughts...so that they come out in a way that makes sense to Pablo and Alejandra. I was extremely exhausted from listening so hard to them speak. And then, after I got up and had sometime to read e-mails, go on facebook...basically indulge into things that connected me to people and places I knew well, I let go of my frustration (a bit). Alejandra went off to work and Pablo and I took a long walk around the neighborhood. It was nice to be outside--the sun shining brightly, warming my body...and I slowed everything down. I decided to laugh more, say, "si, si" less often (and ask more when I didn't understand). I saw a bit of "Emma" come out. It was really nice.
So much of this experience is going to be about 1) being okay not always knowing what's happening 2) feeling really okay trying again and again 3) learning to say what I want to and ask them if they understand me, and then if not, I can try again 4)taking more deep breaths 5) and not getting frustrated with myself for getting frustrated.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Magically Beautiful
I'm not really sure if there's a blog etiquette...but for anyone who is reading this...it's really my journal entries. So it's not very thoughtful and contains grammatical/spelling mistakes...so beware...and read on, if you'd like!
It's been one and a half full days since I arrived in Chile on Tuesday at 9am. And things are going well. Even though I assumed they would...it's nice to finally be here and feel that things are going well.
We got picked up from the airport and were driven to Algarrobo which is about 2 or so hours from Santiago. During the ride out of Santiago, I had images of Pinochet's coup take over my mind---I imagined the roads, empty--except for the few secret police vehicles and the bodies that were lying dead on the ground, I looked into the distance and wondered what people in the far away homes were thinking when they heard of Pinochet's take over. I wasn't sure what to think completely but I felt uncomfortable not hearing anyone talk about Pinochet until later that day. The director of my program said that people look at Chile's history in 4 or 5 parts. But Pinochet's take over is the defining moment between the history before and after it. I continue to read about this era at night, and it all feels more real as I am in the country, surrounded by people, some of whom lived during that period.
We are staying at a Hotel for the first few nights as we go through Orientation and get to know the program Staff and fellow participants. It's beautiful here. Not too hot or humid. And a huge tourist spot for Chileans and people who love Pablo Neruda. As his last home, Casa de Isla Negra () is located nearby Algarrobo.
We visited it last night...the house is stunning, right on the water. Some of his house is designed from real parts of a boats, as he loved boats. He loved collecting things. It reminds me of Gini's home in Patagonia, Arizona (where Me to We runs their youth leadership/volunteer projects). In Pablo Neruda's house, there was a room for ocean objects--sea shells, fish tanks. There was room for masks from indigenous cultures around the world. There was a room for a certain type of hand-crafts. There was a room for horse collections. The tour was entirely in Spanish...so I only understood about 10% of what was told. So most of what I remember is from I actually saw. In his dining room, (this part I understood in Spanish) he put glass vases (objects he had all over his house) that had colores del tierra (colors of the earth)--greens, browns, near the window that faces the trees and his yard and the glass vases that had colors like the ocean---blues---facing the water. He had two large panoramic windows that overlooked the ocean in his bedroom. All in all, it was stunning, an in your-face-reminder about how much money some people have, the beauty and softness that is found near water and wind.
The group has been great and the staff of SIT is wonderful. They were eager to meet us all at the airport, welcoming us by name (using the our passport photos), and taking tons of pictures (which were quickly uploaded and put into a powerpoint presentation for our orientation).
The other participants are eager to use their Spanish...and they are also unafraid to admit that they aren't the best at it (which is reasurring for me!). The staff of SIT talks slow for us and constantly reminds us to speak up if we don't understand something. Today when someone was speaking about using public transportation--one of the staff members ask the speaker to talk to us in English because we all looked really confused (I was.). I'm feeling better about using my Spanish and I'm impressed with how much I understand. However, I get tired quickly (and often) because it's so exhausting listening so attentively to Spanish. I get these cravings for a little bit of English (instead of a normal craving for a chocolate bar, for example)...just to give my mind a break.
The director of the program described Chile as a land of contradictions. He described the range of land found here---from deserts in the north to the frigid temperatures in the south close to the arctic, the industries spread throughout (fishing, agriculture, commercial trade), to the politics---the recent election of a conservative/neo-liberal President, Sebastian Pinera () for the first time in more than 3 decades. It was wonderful to hear someone talk about their country so openly in terms of its contradictions...I don't think people often think about the US that way...but most countries (and people for that matter) are fully of contradictions. I think the more open we are to admitting we have them, the easier time we have working towards eliminating them.
We're off to Santiago tomorrow to meet our host families (who we will be living with for 6 weeks) and start the academic part of our program...first the intensive Spanish course. I learned a bit about my host family today--a couple who live in Santiago close to the National Stadium. They are teachers of religion at the University. It will be fun to meet them and have time to really get to know them.
Off to dinner!
Love to hear anyone's thoughts and/or hear from a familiar voice in English so post away :)
It's been one and a half full days since I arrived in Chile on Tuesday at 9am. And things are going well. Even though I assumed they would...it's nice to finally be here and feel that things are going well.
We got picked up from the airport and were driven to Algarrobo which is about 2 or so hours from Santiago. During the ride out of Santiago, I had images of Pinochet's coup take over my mind---I imagined the roads, empty--except for the few secret police vehicles and the bodies that were lying dead on the ground, I looked into the distance and wondered what people in the far away homes were thinking when they heard of Pinochet's take over. I wasn't sure what to think completely but I felt uncomfortable not hearing anyone talk about Pinochet until later that day. The director of my program said that people look at Chile's history in 4 or 5 parts. But Pinochet's take over is the defining moment between the history before and after it. I continue to read about this era at night, and it all feels more real as I am in the country, surrounded by people, some of whom lived during that period.
We are staying at a Hotel for the first few nights as we go through Orientation and get to know the program Staff and fellow participants. It's beautiful here. Not too hot or humid. And a huge tourist spot for Chileans and people who love Pablo Neruda. As his last home, Casa de Isla Negra () is located nearby Algarrobo.
We visited it last night...the house is stunning, right on the water. Some of his house is designed from real parts of a boats, as he loved boats. He loved collecting things. It reminds me of Gini's home in Patagonia, Arizona (where Me to We runs their youth leadership/volunteer projects). In Pablo Neruda's house, there was a room for ocean objects--sea shells, fish tanks. There was room for masks from indigenous cultures around the world. There was a room for a certain type of hand-crafts. There was a room for horse collections. The tour was entirely in Spanish...so I only understood about 10% of what was told. So most of what I remember is from I actually saw. In his dining room, (this part I understood in Spanish) he put glass vases (objects he had all over his house) that had colores del tierra (colors of the earth)--greens, browns, near the window that faces the trees and his yard and the glass vases that had colors like the ocean---blues---facing the water. He had two large panoramic windows that overlooked the ocean in his bedroom. All in all, it was stunning, an in your-face-reminder about how much money some people have, the beauty and softness that is found near water and wind.
The group has been great and the staff of SIT is wonderful. They were eager to meet us all at the airport, welcoming us by name (using the our passport photos), and taking tons of pictures (which were quickly uploaded and put into a powerpoint presentation for our orientation).
The other participants are eager to use their Spanish...and they are also unafraid to admit that they aren't the best at it (which is reasurring for me!). The staff of SIT talks slow for us and constantly reminds us to speak up if we don't understand something. Today when someone was speaking about using public transportation--one of the staff members ask the speaker to talk to us in English because we all looked really confused (I was.). I'm feeling better about using my Spanish and I'm impressed with how much I understand. However, I get tired quickly (and often) because it's so exhausting listening so attentively to Spanish. I get these cravings for a little bit of English (instead of a normal craving for a chocolate bar, for example)...just to give my mind a break.
The director of the program described Chile as a land of contradictions. He described the range of land found here---from deserts in the north to the frigid temperatures in the south close to the arctic, the industries spread throughout (fishing, agriculture, commercial trade), to the politics---the recent election of a conservative/neo-liberal President, Sebastian Pinera () for the first time in more than 3 decades. It was wonderful to hear someone talk about their country so openly in terms of its contradictions...I don't think people often think about the US that way...but most countries (and people for that matter) are fully of contradictions. I think the more open we are to admitting we have them, the easier time we have working towards eliminating them.
We're off to Santiago tomorrow to meet our host families (who we will be living with for 6 weeks) and start the academic part of our program...first the intensive Spanish course. I learned a bit about my host family today--a couple who live in Santiago close to the National Stadium. They are teachers of religion at the University. It will be fun to meet them and have time to really get to know them.
Off to dinner!
Love to hear anyone's thoughts and/or hear from a familiar voice in English so post away :)
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Address
For those who want to send me mail...here's my address:
Emma Fialka-Feldman
c/o Roberto Villaseca
Ernesto Riquelme 226
Barrio Brasil, Santiago Centro
Santiago
Chile
Emma Fialka-Feldman
c/o Roberto Villaseca
Ernesto Riquelme 226
Barrio Brasil, Santiago Centro
Santiago
Chile
Friday, February 19, 2010
Just here still
I feel uncomfortable if I create a blog and I don't post something too. Here is me posting.
I leave on Monday for Chile.
I leave on Monday for Chile.
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